LINKS!!!!!

In avoidance of the article I’ve been writing for my entire adult life on next season’s MLB playoff expansion, I decide to take a quick look at the vast expanses of twitter and collect a few notable tidbits here for the enjoyment of you, my dozen of readers!

Now, if you’re like most women you’ve probably had a long standing desire to try your hand at fantasy baseball.  I mean, given how sexually attractive it is when guys do it, how could you resist?  The problem you've probably had so far is that there’s never been a fantasy baseball league designed with a lady ball fan in mind.  A league that finally reshapes the game into concepts that women can understand!  

Well, does CBS Sports have good news for you!  The geniuses that brought you CSI and NCIS introduce Baseball Boyfriend!  In this fantasy mini-game ladies have to choose or trade for the hunkiest baseball boyfriend (or BBBF--natch).  The whole preposterous thing is appropriately torn to pieces by Andra Reiher. Check out her article here.  

In a non-lets-make-baseball-even-more-unappealing-to-women news, former Boston Celtics star, Larry Bird, weighed in on the Kobe or Bron Bron debate in an interview with Bill Simmons.  The Hoosier great explains that “it would have probably been more fun to play with LeBron, but if you want to win and win and win, it’s Kobe.”  And he does it all from the comfort of a charming Merlot turtle neck!  (Check out the interview here.)

For those sneaky moms out there, Jimmy Kimmel is up to his old tricks.  This time instead of inflicting potentially permanent psychological damage on unsuspecting children, he’s challenged his viewers to unplug the television while the football lover in their family is watching the Superbowl!  And, the results are...well here are the results.  

And finally, out of Sports Illustrated’s vault, a very lovely picture of a 1957 game between the Red Wings and Rangers.  If you’re not following @si_vault on twitter, you should be.  

SPORTS!

Last Week in Petulant Sports Writing

Though it may be old news at this point I just wanted to say a few words on Josh Hamilton Gate from last week.  More specifically, I’d like to discuss the reaction of one, Jeff Passan, and the inflammatory consequences of a journalist allowing personal disappointment colour his portrayal of a story. 

As many of you probably know by now Texas Rangers' outfielder and recovering addict, Josh Hamilton, fell off the wagon last Monday reportedly having drinks in a Dallas area bar.  Writing for Yahoo Sports, Passan's article often takes on the tone of a let down fan rather than a journalist attempting to objectively cover a somewhat tragic story.  Throughout the piece Passan's petulance takes the form of a bizarre impulse to place blame on an admittedly sick individual and nowhere is this more evident than in the article's introduction:

The worst part about Josh Hamilton’s relapse is that he didn’t care.  The most famous addict in sports does not go to a bar in the town where he is best known without full knowledge that his exploits will becomes public in a matter of hours.  

What is, of course, troubling about Passan’s opening is that, instead of viewing Hamilton’s awareness of being caught--and almost certainly publicly humiliated--as a sign of the severity of the outfielder’s addiction, he chooses to portray the relapse as a careless lapse in judgement.

Further confusing Passan’s take on last week’s events, the article quickly shifts, taking on a much more sympathetic tone.  “Hamilton does care, of course” Passan explains in his fourth paragraph.  Wait, hold on...what?  Contradicting the accusatory tone of the article’s introduction, Passan admits that Hamilton’s relapse does not “represent weakness” but is rather “a symptom of addiction’s vagaries.”  There are several points in the article where Passan makes similar concessions and during these moments of lucidity the writer seems to acknowledge the fact that addicts will not always be able to overcome the challenges that their illnesses present them with.  These moments, however, do not overshadow the overall accusatory and downright petulant tone that characterizes the article.  

If you were worried that Hamilton’s relapse was a complicated situation possibly influenced by the pressure of being in the public eye; the loss of Hamilton’s long time “accountability partner,” Johnny Norran or his tragic involvement in the death of a spectator last season, don’t worry, Passan assures us its not.  “The particulars...don’t matter as much as the act.  With addicts they never do.  Sobriety is black and white.  Black won Monday.”  Though, the physical state of sobriety is obviously black and white, for an addict the act of maintaining sobriety is far more complicated.  Never explaining the basis of his psychiatric expertise, Passan reduces a complicated psychological illness into an overly simplified black and white concept and in doing so he, not only, makes it easier to speak disparagingly about Hamilton’s relapse he carelessly diminishes the challenges faced everyday by recovering addicts.

What Passan comes close to but ultimately fails to convey is that even when one is not dealing with the pressures of being both a public figure and inspiration to millions of recovering addicts, battling addiction is an ongoing process often marred by moments of weakness.  Just because many look up to Hamilton as a role model does not mean we can expect him to be perfect.  What we can hope for is that Hamilton continues to be open and honest about the challenges he faces as a recovering addict.  We can hope that Hamilton’s battle will continue to inspire fellow addicts to fight their illness even after they experience similar setbacks.  We can hope that in witnessing how easy it is for an addict to fall off the wagon that those who have loved ones struggling with addiction continue to provide them with the support that they need.  And finally, if/when Hamilton suffers another relapse we can hope that the journalists put in charge of covering the story have a little more patience--and perhaps, write a couple more drafts--before they further stigmatise addiction by publicly attacking people who are merely showing the symptoms of their illness.  

Snitches Get Stitches: The Secret Life of Baseball's Silent Assassin

There was an afternoon a couple of weeks ago where having neglected twitter all day--a very uncharacteristic thing for me to do since my embarrassingly recent discovery of this bit of social media--I tuned in to find several writers discrediting reports from earlier in the day that the Blue Jays had made a deal to acquire San Francisco’s starting pitcher, Matt Cain.  What was strange about discovering this story only after it had been already been dis-proven was that instead of being pleased that I had avoided the heartbreak of once again having erroneous rumours get my hopes up, I was kind of saddened that I had been robbed of a morning spent fantasizing about having Toronto’s starting rotation bolstered by the talented right-handed pitcher.  


By now, fans of the Blue Jays will be very familiar with the feeling of false hope they are given each time Toronto is inevitably linked to a coveted free agent.  Sadly, they will be just as familiar with the subsequent feeling of disappointment that takes hold when said free agent goes to another ball club.  Those who have been following the team over the last two seasons will know that because of the tight-lipped nature of Toronto’s general manager, Alex Anthopoulos, they are doomed to re-live this process each time a notable free agent becomes available.  For those of you unfamiliar with the way Toronto’s GM does business, don’t beat yourself up.  His M.O. is characterized by complete media silence and though this is likely a policy that every general manager has in place, under Anthopoulos the Blue Jays have become a veritable Fort Knox when it comes to keeping their potential transactions under wraps.  


In defending the secretive way Anthopoulos’ and his fellow executives have gone about their work, the most frequently cited piece of evidence is the deal that sent Vernon Wells to the Anaheim Angels.  Many argue (myself included) that had the media caught wind of the deal before it had happened their venomous reaction would have helped Angels’ GM, Tony Reagins, realize what a catastrophic mistake he was about to make and Toronto would still be toiling under V-Dub’s albatross of a contract.  (Side note: when this deal went down Vernon’s contract was called an albatross a LOT.  I like to think of Coleridge writing in the 18th century thinking, ‘one day people will understand the despair and the psychological burden I write of.  One day, the Blue Jays will owe 86 million dollars to a 32-year-old Vernon Wells.’)  


The disadvantage of Anthopoulos’ shroud of secrecy is that because he will never publicly confirm or deny whether or not the team is attempting to acquire a player, opportunistic agents are able to use Toronto’s hypothetical interest in their clients as leverage when negotiating with the teams that are interested.  The result has been that during the past two seasons, regardless of their actual interest, the Blue Jays have been reported as possible suitors in every rumored trade and a potential destination for every available free agent.  The frequent disappointment inherent to this way of doing things has had its toll on a growing number of the Blue Jays faithful.  This digitally vocal group believe that its time for the organization to take the ideological next step, sign a couple of big name players and take a run at the playoffs.  For this sort, every free agent that the Jays don’t sign is a slap in the face and when the Fielders and Darvishes and even Beltres (!) end up signing with other teams these people huffily litter comment sections with threats about how they’ve finally given up on the team and how the Anthopoulos honeymoon is over.  (Sidenote: I also like to think of Austin3:16* writing in his basement thinking, ‘by the looks of things Anthopoulos must think that the honeymoon isn’t over.  I’ll show him!’)  And though you wouldn’t expect the Blue Jays front office to put much stock in these threats, Paul Beeston acknowledged the team’s PR troubles in an interview earlier this month, going as far as to admit that they could have done a better job of “managing expectations.”  To me, this is nothing more than Beeston providing something of an opiate for the hysterical masses.  What’s more is given the circumstances, I believe Anthopoulos has made several moves that demonstrate a strong ability to manipulate Toronto’s public image in order to generate buzz around the team.  


If we believe Anthopoulos is telling the truth when he says that the Rogers corporation is willing to beef up Toronto’s salary when the time is right, then what is there for a GM to do to create excitement around the team while his young prospects develop into a suitable supporting cast?  One possibility would be to bring up a Canadian player bravely attempting to convert himself into an outfielder after his pitching career was cut short by injuries, as he did last September with Adam Loewen.  Another possibility would be to bring up an unlucky former star pitching prospect who’s career was all but destroyed by injuries and who’s unwillingness to give up has made him a fan favourite, as he did with Dustin McGowen.  Both moves were celebrated by fans and sports writers alike.  And considering that Loewen was unceremoniously released this off season and McGowen is currently fighting for the fifth spot on the rotation, I believe its safe to argue that the decision to bring them up to the big club had more to do with the impact they would have on the team’s public image than the impact they would have on the actual team.  
For me, there are several reasons I support not only the moves--or lack thereof--that Anthopoulos has made, but the policies he has in place that allows the Blue Jays to be mentioned as suitors for every available free agent.  The most obvious of which would be a complete lack of concern for the outrage expressed by the Austin3:16’s of the world who announce that they’ve given up on the team every time a star player signs elsewhere.  I mean, what exactly is Mr. 3:16 going to do?  Not show up to the games?  (Cue picture of empty Roger’s Centre.)  Furthermore, would he have preferred that his expectations be better managed as Mr. Beeston suggests they should?  Because, I can remember a time not so long ago when the Toronto Blue Jays were the furthest thing from anyone’s mind when a big name free agent became available and that wasn’t very much fun either.  


Even if you can’t derive as much pleasure as I do from simply fantasizing about Prince Fielder following in the footsteps that his father left in Ontario rather than the ones he left in Michigan, you have to admit that it can’t hurt the Blue Jay brand to have American sports writers confirming Toronto as a possible (and even likely) destination for star free agents.  Just ask the Toronto Raptors: its not always easy selling American athletes on pursuing their dreams in Canada.  Part of getting them North of the border is re-branding the team and city as a realistic alternative to the more established baseball markets.  


Eventually, the free agents will come.  And, there’s no secret to how or why they will get here.  Just like they did in the Riccardi era, the Rogers corporation will loosen the purse strings and splash out on some marquee players.  What I am hoping is that unlike in the Ricciardi era, Anthopoulos will wait until the team has a sufficient core group of players surrounding those stars.  In the mean time, Austin3:16, try to relax and let the Blue Jays’ silent assassin do his thing.  Before you know it, both the team and it’s public image will be as strong as a Steve Austin sleeper hold.


*If you’re reading this Austin3:16, 19-fucking-98 called and it wants its interest in professional wrestling back, you fucking virgin.