There’s something existential about writing your first blog post. What is this? Who am I talking to? If petty English majors* directed by desperate Facebook pleas only begrudgingly read it in the hopes that it is terrible and that they will hate it, does it really exist? These daunting questions have, for too long now, prevented me from taking advantage of this forum despite it being a total freebie that any jerk can add to their resume knowing that--like your references--90% of your prospective employers are going to be too lazy to even look at them let alone read them. More importantly, in having a barely working laptop and stolen access to the restaurant below my apartment's internet, I have all the necessary qualifications to write one of these bad boys. Or, as it was explained by the person who finally convinced me to write this thing, "any asshole can write one so...you know...you should do it."
So maybe we'll start with the first question. What is this? Well, as you can hopefully glean from the brilliantly punny title (Full credit to Mark Heystee and Scott Harrison. The two of them called me this for several weeks before I clued in to it potentially having a meaning beyond adding 'bag' to the abbreviated version of my name.) the blog is going to vaguely concern itself with sports.
No wait! Hear me out on this.
I've chosen sports because, first, coming up with ideas is tough! And second, sports happen--and this is especially true for fans of baseball--basically everyday and its my hope that this constant influx of activity will provide me with sufficient grist for this digital mill. Furthermore, I like sports. A lot. And when confronted with individuals who are ambivalent or dislike or possess a hatred for them more that is more intense than Milton Bradley’s opinion of Cub fans (first sports reference! Yay!), it only further encourages me to find some story or character from the seemingly endless history of athletic achievement that will spark the interest of said non-believers.
Many will be quick to criticize modern-day professional athletics as nothing more than an overindulgent pastime that allows socially-inept, out of shape non-contributors to waste countless hours in front of a television watching millionaire freaks of nature play a game. To them I say, "hey, shut up." But would also, somewhat apologetically, add that though spending three hours--or in the case of a Yankees/Red Sox game, six hours (Hiyo! There's another one!)--watching baseball is indeed, a hugely decadent use of my time, I believe it is in this way that professional sports can be viewed as an articulation of civilization. The fact that I can concern myself with when Blue Jay prospect, Brett Lawrie is going to be brought up from the farm (So soooon!!! Eeeek!), instead of say, trying to figure out if a dog has been dead too long for me to safely eat it, is a dramatic demonstration that in relation to a lot of people I am very lucky. This is not lost on me and I would hope that it isn't lost on anyone who has ever read an article on tsn.ca, let alone managed a fantasy baseball team.
So there you have it. I hope this gives you some sense of what your in store for here at The Jim Bag. Much like an actual gym bag there will be a mix of vaguely athletic things combined with a completely random assortment of things you probably didn't expect to find. Like deodorant. Speaking of which, is anyone else convinced that their deodorant is almost certainly going to give them arm-pit cancer? If you comment on one thing from this post, let it be this issue. I'm really uneasy with aluminum's role in helping me smell, "Extreme!"
And finally, because for the past several months I have been using this short animated film to make friends, I thought it appropriate to leave you with it.
*I am talking specifically about myself. Sorry. I thought your blog was...fine.
I'm more worried about the Alzheimers.
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